In the Eye of the Squall
by Maphiko
Summary: Life's tough when you're the Commander of SeeD and shackled to being a Sorceress' Knight. But just as you think things can't get any worse. . .Even the fact that you saved the world can't help you! What does this have to do with Rinoa becoming a popstar
1. To Become Squall Leonhart. . .

In the Eye of the Squall:   
Chapter I: To Become Squall Leonhart. . .  
By S_4000.  
  
It was depressingly sunny. Squall groaned, and buried his head under his small regulation pillow as he spied his girlfriend, the infamous Sorceress, Rinoa Heartilly, taking another hour to get to his dorm. All because she refused to run like any other human being. No, she had to take dainty, lady-like, tiny steps, and waste sooo much of his time.   
Not that he was doing anything.  
And it wasn't as if he really blamed her. But still. . .You would think if she thought he was dead, she would have run up to him at least. No, instead, she strolled through the mist, singing her damn mother's song, which was about his father. She couldn't even come up with a new song, and instead sang one which was about a generation too old. Pathetic. And she was too damn skinny.  
"My life is pathetic!" he shouted to his gunblade, propped up next to his case. 'Pathetic! I do nothing but sit in here all day long. . .no exercise, since everything dies as soon as Quistis or Selphie butts in with Counter! And I'm Lv. 100! All my EXP is going to waste! And you. . .My poor Lion Heart. . .Rinoa got her hands on you. Pathetic. . ."  
He rolled over. He was getting fat. Probably because of all those deliciously fatty foods such as hot dogs. . .M&M's. . .and Crispy Bug Treats. . .He licked his lips in longing.   
"Squally! What are you doing in bed at a time like this!?" his girlfriend demanded playfully. She yanked him up, and he groaned dejectedly.   
"Rinoaaa. . ."  
"Squuuaaaall. . ." she mimicked. "Come on! You're coming to Esthar with me. I need to buy some stuff."  
Squall allowed himself to be dragged out the door. However, as he was being rather limp, he collided into the doorframe. . . . .  
"Squall!" Rinoa spun. "Stop mucking around!!!"  
Squall pushed himself up unhappily. "Yes Rinoa. . ."  
  
Esthar was hot. The sun beat mercilessly on his head through layers of dazzling blue glass. An eeriely familiar voice made him slowly turn, laden as he was to see the ultimate horror. Yes, THE Ultimate Horror.   
Rinoa enthusiastically greeting his most hated nemesis.   
Cid Kramer of course.   
"Squall," the fat, balding, man beamed. "So good to see you! Edea's pleased as. . .as. . .Edea!?" he spun, and looked around frantically. Squall started to sneak away, being ever the oppurtunist. . .Only to bump into Matron.   
"Squall!"  
"Uh. . .Hi, Matron."  
She smiled. "Good to see you. Have you seen your father yet?"  
He jumped, and nearly dropped the gazillion packages Rinoa had loaded him up with. He hoped he was due for another SeeD payment soon. Last time he checked, he was Level A or Z or whatever. Whatever.  
"Squall? Can you hear me?"  
"Uh. . .Hi Matron."  
Frowning, Edea shook her head, long locks of black hair flying, and hitting her husband in the face. Cid let out a yelp, and received a mouth full of hair for his troubles.   
Edea turned hurridly, and Squall being slightly slow on the uptake once again, also got a face full of now-tangled hair. It smelt like really bad shampoo. Almost as bad as the shampoo Rinoa used. Rinoa. Where was she?  
"Squall!" the girl in question said brightly behind him. Of course.  
With a sunny smile, she deposited yet another package into his arms. "Well," she said briskly. "It's time we went to Deling City, or maybe Timber. Esthar fashion is truly. . .interesting."  
Squall nobly refrained from sighing.   
  
Deling City. The city of eternal night. The city where it had all began. The city where-  
"Squall!"  
He really wished people would stop wearing out his name. He only had two after all, and people rarely used his second name. It was Squall, Squall, Squall. Either, "SQUALL!" when Rinoa needed help, or the infamous, "Squall. Squall from Squad D." or even more infrequently, they used his student no. No. 139. No, wait a minute, that was the number on the sword in the Tomb of the Unknown King. What was his student number again? Maybe he could ask Norg. . .  
Rinoa sighed, seeing a familiar vague look in her boyfriend's face. Never mind. She tossed her newest purchase; a pair of black strappy high heeled shoes for the upcoming SeeD Ball on top of the rest. Squall was rapidly disappearing behind a mountain of items. Rinoa shrugged. That's what happened when you gave her unlimited credit on Squall's money! Her mother had always told her to marry rich. . .  
She walked down the street, Squall obediently following, his eyes vacant. She started to sing softly. There was no one to here it anyway. "On the stage on my owwwn. . ." she crooned, or rather warbled. "Never said my wwoooorrrds. . .wishing they would beee heard. . ." As she passed the Galbadian Hotel, singing loudly now, a man sprang out of the shadows at her.  
"That's it! You're the one I've been trying to find!" he cried excitedly.  
Dubiously, Rinoa took a good long look at the man. He looked like a stupid Galbadian guy, with a knee length trench coat, slightly spiked dark hair gleaming with gel, and a pair of ultra-fashionable sunglasses that seemed to be glued to his face.  
"Do I know you?" she said with polite distaste.   
He grinned. "No, but you do now! I'm your agent. Agent Doggin."  
She blinked. "Excuse me. . .?"  
"I'm an agent for CCIM. Inc. Which stands for Crappy Commercial Immitation Music Incorporated. We look for fresh young talent in the music industry! And I think your look; the boots, the streaks, the costume, the jewellery, the anorexia, is exactly what we need for our newest popstar!"  
Rinoa blinked once again, not certain she was hearing him right. Anorexia. . ?  
Her? No! She was perfectly shaped, and healthy, never mind she threw up most of the canteen food! It was all disgustingly canteenish after all.   
". . . Film clips, Special Effects. . ." he was saying enthusiastically. Oh darn. She seemed to have missed most of what he said. She snapped her fingers, and pinched herself irritably, trying to bring on a Limit Break through sheer annoyance. No such luck. She knew she ought to have bought more Aura Stones!  
"Squall!" she barked authoratively. 'Sir Squall, your Sorceress needs you now! And don't you dare drop my packages!"   
Squall came alert with a start, almost starting disaster, but managed to steady himself. He peered around the stack of items to look at her questioningly. "Yeah, whatever. . ." He jumped into Battle Mode, and whipped out Lino Heart, his new and improved gunblade which could also mop floors. Rinoa had bought it for him, remodelling Lion Heart for a surprise. He had certainly been surprised!  
Easily balancing the packages on one hand now, the Commander of SeeD blew the stupid Galbadian guy; and most of the Galbadian Hotel away with a single blast of Ultima. When all returned to semi-normality, Rinoa gazed at the shattered remains of the hotel where her mother had once played. Squall sheathed his gunblade, an expression of stoic satisfaction on his face.  
Rinoa shook her head in despair. This was the third building today, and he had only woken up about seven hours ago. She promptly decided it was time to return to Garden, where the walls were made of stronger stuff. Besides, she was almost all shopped out already!  
  
Hours later, she made her way down to the library, listening with pleasure at the sound of her dainty feminine footsteps echoeing softly down the corridoor. She would never clomp along like Squall did! Though of course, it did take a while to get anywhere. . .  
A popstar, huh? She idly wondered if there was anything left of Agent Doggin. . .It might be interesting to see what this popstar business was about. . .  
  
Far below, in a dark forgotten basement, the shell in an impossibly sophisticated technological piece of machinary, the lights flared on. A flickering sphere of energy above thinned tangibly, letting off wild sparks.The Shumi had left long ago, after monitering his progress for a few measly months. Fools. He was complete now! He was. . .perfect Cell. (Just kidding.) He had made the final transformation, and now the Elders were to him as the Moombas were to them. Mwahahahaha!!!!!!!  
The flickering sphere of energy abruptly was split apart by a single blow from a fist. A young man who looked eerily like Squall (except he had blonde hair) leaped out athletically, then stretched easily. He was now no longer NORG, that pathetic cowardly creature. He was. . .uh. . .He was the. . .uh. . .  
Just what was he, anyway?  
A light feminine laugh rang out behind him, and bounced off the walls and back in horror. "Don't worry," she said with a malevolent smile, as she brushed back a strand of her shiny hair. "I know exactly who you are."  
  
Squall sighed and rolled onto his back. He licked his lips contentedly, and brushed crumbs off his feathers. Those Crispy Bug Treats were insidiously addictive.  
A light persistent tap on the door. Go away. Leave me alone with my food.  
"Squall!" It was Quistis. "Squall, I know your in there!"   
Go away. Go talk to a wall.  
"Fine! You can just rot then! And I'll take my M&M's with me!"  
M&M's? Squall had the door open faster then he could down the coveted chocolate.  
"Peanut or Crispy?"  
"Crispy."  
"Squall!" It was Rinoa, advancing down the coridoor, with quick purposeful steps. At this rate she would only take a half hour for her to get anywhere. Squall absently popped a few M&M's into his mouth. Ahhh. Chocolately goodness.   
"Squall! Get here right now!" she declared, with a toss of her hair. "We're going back to Galbadia. Right this instant!"  
Squall shuffled his feet, and looked longingly at the bag of M&M's that Quistis Trepe still held. The Instructor smiled, and took a few steps away from him and Rinoa. Her message was clear; the M&M's or Rinoa.   
Which one? How could he choose? The M&M's were soo delicious. . .so sweet. . .so chocolatey. . .But if he didn't go with Rinoa, she would literally make his life a living hell, and hunt him down to the end of the earth. She could do that; she was a Sorceress. Then again, she night get her father to close down the Crispy Bug Treat factory! He did own 85% of it after all! But if he. . .Wait a minute! If he. . .You're brilliant Squall! Absolutely brilliant!  
In a blaze of inspiration, he clutched his head, and groaned theatrically, before falling to his knees, then to the floor. Ouch! He hadn't done this in a while, and it had ususally happened while he was back in the past. The floor was reamrkably hard when you thought about it. He lay perfectly still, slowing his breathing.   
"Squall!" came from both female throats. Rinoa speeded up to a power walk, and got there before Quistis, who was too astonished to move.  
"Speak to me Squall," Rinoa said tearfully, almost making him feel guilty. . .  
Quistis began to wring her hands, sending candy coated chocolate flying everywhere, landing all around him. The temptation! The unbearable temptation of it all! He couldn't stand it . . .It was too much! He opened his eyes, and lunged around, scrabbling about for the candy. I want candy! He sang to himself, in triumph.   
Quistis and Rinoa looked at him, in dazed and hurt disbelief. No sound emerged from their mouths, though they gaped open. Then. . .   
  
Zell smiled charmingly. "C'mon baby! Let's go! You know we'll have a hella good time. . ." His reflection said nothing, and frustrated he banged the mirror. How could he ever get to know. . .well you know. . .if he couldn't even speak properly?  
And was immediately very, very afraid, as a shriek tore through all of Balamb Garden and the surrounding areas. "YOU IDDIIIIIIOTT!!!!!!!!!"  
"I'm sorry!" he cried in reflex, hunching his shoulders. Then he realised that no one was screaming at him, it actually more sounded as if was coming from Squall's dorm. . . And that the shriekers sounded suspiciously like Instructor Trepe and Rinoa. "Oh no!" He muttered to his ever helpful charming self. "I gotta help him! He saved my life in D-District, and splurged me for hot-dogs all the time. . .and he. . .I gotta help him!" Zell ran for his buddy's dorm. There was no wrath like that of a female, and he had to get there at once. He knew what to say already.  
"Stop!!!" he bellowed, seeing the two encroaching females. "Stop it!! He can't help himself. . .Squall isn't bad. . .He just has a problem. A really serious problem."  
"Yeah!" Rinoa said. "He's a jerk!"  
"Nooooo!!! Let me explain. Squall has a serious problem. He is a chocoholic. I know. . .for I am one too. . ." He looked down. His most secret shame had been revealed; yes, Zell Dincht like chocolate better then hot dogs. Of course chocolate flavoured hot dogs were always good. And pain de chocolat. . .. . .No. Don't go down that path. Think of what Dr. Kadowaki said. Take deep refreshing breaths. In, out. In, out. . .  
"Hel-lo!? Zell Dincht! Calling for Zell Dincht!?"  
He looked up to face a seriously annoyed Instructor Trepe, while Rinoa was tearfully cuddling Squall, wailing something about how it was going to be alright, and that she would take care of everything now! Squall had a decidedly sick look on his face.  
"Why'd you go spill it?" Quistis demanded.   
"Y-you knew!?" he stuttered in surprise.  
"Of course I knew!" she hissed. "I was trying to get a raise before I alerted the general faculty about it!"  
"Oh. . .Isn't that wrong?"  
"Of course not! Now let me explain. . ." she steered him down the hallway with a practised hand.  
  
Rinoa held him as if she would never let him go. No, she wouldn't! He was HERS.   
"It'll be okay, now, Squall. I'll be here, I promise."  
"Why me?" he muttered. Partially muffled, because of the fact she was holding him so tightly against her. So of course she only heard the "Why. . .?"  
"I'll be waiting for you to get rid of your addiction of course! So if you come with me. . .I'll make sure you never eat chocolate again."  
No!   
"Yes," Rinoa said comfortingly. "You'll never eat it again, Squall. I promise."  
Squall groaned in horror, already half delirious from withdrawl symptoms, and passed out for real.  
  
The days passed by in a blur, with Squall not really aware of anything but the driving NEED to eat some chocolate. Sweet, sweet, chocolately chocolate. . .  
Several times they were forced to restrain him.  
  
Rinoa sighed as she pushed the trolley forward. Poor, addicted Squall. She was shopping to relieve some stress, and since they were low on hot dogs anyway. . .She paused at the health section. Carob! Perhaps that would help her beloved.   
The loudspeakers blared on with the newest pop smash hit, "Melodies of Life." Rinoa hissed, her train of thought interrupted. She dumped three mega sized packs of carob into the trolley, and stalked off to the counter. "Eyes On ME walks all over that pathetic song," she glowered to herself. "I have to somehow return it to glory!"  
What had the name been of that company Agent Doggin had worked for? CCIM? Yes that was it. Perhaps she would pay them a visit. . .after she saw Squall of course.  
  
The young blonde man stalked the area of the basement. She watched him with some amusement. NORG was no more thanks to the little adjustments she had made to the pod while he transformed. He was now a super version of Squall Leonhart. The only possible thing that could bring the Leader of SeeD down. Her lip curled in contempt. He should of picked HER! Instead, he had gone to that pathetic little whinging Sorceress, Rinoa. Disgusting.  
The blonde young man spun around angrily. "When are you going to let me OUT!!!!!!!!!!"  
The woman curled her lip. Maybe in some areas he was Squall's superior, but in the calm, cool and collected attitude, he was definitely Squall's inferior. Something about that cold expressionless expression. . . .she smiled dreamily.   
"Hello???? Some answers would be pleasant."  
"I can't let you go yet. If someone saw Squall's blond double around, there might be trouble."  
He laughed, and the very walls shook in terror. Now THAT was a trick she hadn't seen Commander Leonhart do. "Once I'm out of here, no Cloud, no Squall, no damn Seymour will hinder us."  
The woman blanched. "Your plagirism is making me sick."  
"Whatever." He grinned savagely at her groan.  
  
"Miss Heartilly?" the secretary called. "Agent Doggin will see you know."   
Rinoa stood, nervously smoothing the folds of her yellow chiffon dress. Normally she only wore it for special occassions to trap certain Squalls. . .but you know. . .  
"Miss Heartilly," Agent Doggin gulped nervously, his eyes darting around furtively. "I don't suppose your. . .uh. . .boyfriend is anywhere near?"  
"You mean Squall?" she asked oh so innocently. "He's waiting in the car."  
And indeed he was. . .a little bit more chocolate wouldn't hurt him right?   
Agent Doggin's eyes bulged behind his slighty charred, but ultra fashionable sunglasses. Small whimpers emerged from his vincinity.   
"Why," Rinoa said with mock solicitiousness. "whatever is wrong Agent Doggin? Do you have indigestation?"  
"No," he managed to croak out, with a somewhat sickly smile. "Why don't we get down to business?"  
"Certainly," she beamed.  
  
Squall bounced up and down impatiently on his seat. Or he would have, if he hadn't been so dedicated to keeping his cool, calm, and impassive reputation. One couldn't have the Commander of SeeD acting like he was kindegarten. . .not that he had ever been to kindergarten.  
Rinoa was taking so damn long. It was lucky she hadn't left just Angelo in the car, the poor dog would have probably suffocated to death waiting. He patted Angelos' head, then resumed his mentel fidgetting.  
Then something happened, something that was so catastrophic that it made his forget his boredom.  
  
The blonde young man chuckled. Five new GF's and they were all his!!!! Abilities learnt and everything!!!!! His! His!!! All his!!!! He could summon Aeons now, and best Yuna at her own game!   
He restrained himself, though the impulse to dance around in glee was still almost irresistable. He had to be his most careful. One slip, and she would be on him. She had some Goddess like powers, because it was rumored that SHE was the almighty Water Goddess. As if. It couldn't be true. But enough people believed it, and as she often said, publicity was everything. . .  
As for him, there weren't enough rumors about him. No one knew anything about him. Just that he was the "cheerful one." Everyone knew the GIRLS were always the cheerful ones. And that he looked like Squall Leonhart, who had the gall to be the angst ridden one. No one accused him of being "cheerful." So, that was his plan.  
To become Squall Leonhart.   
If Yuna would let him.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. I'm Gonna Become a Popstar!

In the Eye of the Squall:  
Chapter 2: "I'm gonna be a popstar!"  
By Sephiroth 4000  
  
"Myyyyy GF's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Squall exploded out of the car, shaken out of his chocolate induced daze. Someone had had the gall to draw his GF's from him!!!!!! He bet it was Seifer or Fujin who had done it; the mad albino woman had never forgiven him for drawing Pandemona from her. Then again, fair was fair; she had not protected her GF properly. He would protect his. They were his dammit!!!!!!  
Eyes narrowed, senses keen and ready, a predatory gleam in his eye, Squall set off to the hunt.  
  
Rinoa sighed, and pushed back her bangs, fidgetting restlessly on the stiff leather seats. Agent Doggin had gone to receive approval from his superiors, or some such doggerel, so she gathered. Meanwhile she was stuck out here in the blah lobby, looking like an idiot.   
Her mayfly attention flitted back and forth from different subjects, first wondering where Agent Doggin was, what Squall was doing, whether she should just leave, or what should she wear tomorrow. . and then it was all blown away into speechlessness as two men that appeared to be in their twenties came out of one of the studios.  
They were impossible looking. One had spiky blond hair that stood out in all directions, and wore ultra baggy pants and a sleeveless turtleneck, and heavy industrial looking gloves. His companion was even more fantastical looking, with super long hair that practically went to the back of his knees. He was wearing a leather trenchcoat, along with leather trews and knee high boots, and leather gloves. Two leather straps crisscrossed his bare chest.  
Squall would eat his heart out. This guy's wearing even more leather then he does!  
She ran a speculative gaze on them both. They were, to put it bluntly, devastating. They could even give her darling Squall a run for his money in the category of looks!   
"Honestly, Seph!" the blonde one said earnestly as they passed her. "I reckon you would look good as a blonde. Or maybe a brunette. You could pick the dye up when we get my hair gel. . ."  
The tall one gazed at the blonde one (as Rinoa had tagged them) his whole expression one of utter disbelief. His glowing emerald eyes narrowed ominously. "I told you this, Cloud. I already joined your stupid band. I am not touching my hair!"  
"Awww," the other one whined good naturedly. "Then again, you'd probably get really bad roots."  
They passed out of hearing then, and Rinoa smiled dreamily. They apparently worked for CCIM Inc. Therefore if she joined up, perehaps she would see them around again. . .  
"Miss Heartilly! We got the go-ahead for you. We'd like to hear you sing though first. Do you need time to prepare a song. . .?" Agent Doggin waited anxiously.  
"No, no" she said smoothly, rising gracefully to her feet. "I'm ready."  
  
"Wishing they. . .would be heeeeeaardd. . ."  
"Fantastic," Agent Doggin murmured. He had finally hit the mother load. This girl was going to make him rich. Honestly. He wouldn't even try to swindle her, not with her rabid boyfriend. His Peter Jackson suit would never be the same; the cinders and ashes were imbedded into it. Yet he couldn't bear to throw it away. But with this girl, he could afford to buy many more. Especially since there was sale on everyday. He grinned in glee, eyes dancing behind his wrap-arounds. His darling Oakleys. Soon, everything would be alright. He was going to be filthy stinking rich!  
"You will know that you are no dah-reeemeeeerrr. . ."  
Yes. It would be all be his, instead of just dreams. He applauded Miss Heartilly vigorously. She smiled and blushed.  
  
  
Back in the basement. No one would visit here; they were utterly safe. Tidus grimaced. It was so damn drafty down here though. Nothing like the warm balmy islands of Spira. . .except when there were tsunamis and typhoons and such.   
Yuna paced up and down impatiently. "Did you get them?" she demanded impatiently.   
In response, he drew them from himself. Well, not all of them. Bahamut, Tonberry, Leviathen, and Pandemona would have to do for her. He was keeping Quetzocotal to himself.   
He deserved something after all.  
She received them easily, with the rest of her Aeons, and breathed in deeply, enjoying the current of power flowing through her, smiling. Ugh. That smile. She had something in her teeth.  
"What are you plans next?" he asked cautiously. It wasn't likely she'd tell him, but at least he could try.  
She sniffed disdainfully, and tossed her hair. "Why would you need to know?"  
Damn.  
"But I shall tell you anyway. I want you to try to sneak up on Leonhart's other little friends, and swipe their GF's as well."  
"And," he drawled, "Am I supposed to do that? They're always surrounded by people."  
She stamped a foot in his direction. "How am I supposed to know!!! Honestly, figure out that yourself!"   
With that, she stomped off to the elevator, the fabric of her skirt rustling loudly. He tried not to grin, but it came anyway. She had just authorized him to do something he could turn very much to his advantage. . .  
Now where in the name of the Water God could he find some brown hair dye?  
  
Her face a study of quiet pensiveness, Rinoa exited the building of CCIM Inc. It was time to tell Squall her news. She wondered how he would take it. . .  
As she reached the car, and pulled her keys out, she nearly tripped over Squall, who was peculiarly hunched over and staring avidly at the ground.  
"Squall!" she squawked, her arms madly windmilling, as she strove to keep her balance in about a gazillion inch high heels. Oh! He was such an inconsiderate idiot.   
"Huh?"  
Oh. Very intelligent Squall. What did I see in him anyway? She thought in annoyance, finally regaining her balance. She bent over and scooped up her keys.  
"Here, let me get those for you, Sorceress." He reached them before she did, then handed them over with a flourish. He was trying to make it up to her. What a dear boy. She smiled, her luminous black eyes lighting up with the fire of dawn. . .  
"Oh Squall!!! You'll never guess!! I'm gonna be a popstar!"  
He choked.   
  
Tidus stared at the sales girl with an acute sense of despair. "You mean all of the hair dye is gone? All?"   
The sales girl fidgetted under his steady blue stare. "Well, you see sir, " she floundered, "It were the most extraordinary thing."  
"Yes?"  
"Well, these two gennelmen come in. I knew they was strange from their outlandish hair an' clothing, but I was polite like to 'em anyway. The blonde one, he asked for the hair gel. Looked like he needed it, anyways, his hair was juat a mass of spikes." Here she paused to giggle breathlessly, while Tidus ground his teeth, and slowly counted to ten.  
"An' then, the blonde guy just starts to tease the other guy, who had like the most 'mazing hair I've ever seen! I mean, it were completely white, and long, and silky lookin'. The blonde starts offering him dye, sayin' stuff like "You'd look good as a redhead! Just like that Turk what's his name??? Runo, or somethin'?" Anyways, the white haired guy is jus' getting' madder an' madder, until finally he goes over the edge, gets out this massive sword, and starts whacking me dye bottles everywhere! I mean, gallons and gallons o' dye was a-wasted, and the stains. . ." she shook her head mournfully, her bright pink hair going everywhere.  
"Then the blonde looks a bit frightened, you know? He waits til the other guy calms down a little bit, slaps down this huuuge roll of gil in front of me, and mutters an apology. Then he drags his friend off like."  
His fists clenching, his stomach roiling, Tidus glared furiously at the ditzy girl for a moment. She wilted. "And when will the dye arrive?" He could hardly recognise the tense grating voice as his own.  
She cowered in terror. "Mebbe four to five weeks like."  
He exhaled sharply, his vision actually going red in fury for a moment, then sharply turned and stalked out before he could commit murder.  
All over town! It seemed like this duo had destroyed every bit of dye in Balamb. Even the hairdresser had mournfully said, "Mon Dieu! My hair dye all gone; though royally paid for."  
What was he to do? It looked like he'd have to ask her. Ugh.  
  
His knees shook. His hands were icy. His voice quavered as he said, "My name's Squall. And I'm a chocoholic."  
He was so going to kill Rinoa and Quistis for this! When he told them about the disappearence of his GF's they had only looked at him pityingly, and sent him here to stay for a month. Rehab. Just another synonym for hell. Without chocolate, he was nothing. It hadn't been the Auras that had saved the day when he had fought Ultimecia; it had been the chocolate.  
What was he going to do? He had to escape. Somehow. Some way.  
"Well Squall," said a woman in a drab grey suit, in a tone far too cheerful. "You've taken the first step."  
  
Rinoa smiled politely at the brunette in the horrid pink dress and clashing yellow sash. They shook hands. Gingerly. "I'm Esther," the brunette chirped. "I'm the manager for "Once We Were Angels," formed by Cloud Strife."  
"Really?" Rinoa said. Oh, all this small talk was grating on her nerves.  
"Yes! Would you like to see? They're rehearsing right now!"  
"Okay. . ." It couldn't hurt to see her competition.  
With that, Esther swept aside the curtain that blocked the window that viewed the studio. Immediately, Rinoa's attention was captured as the two singers were the two young men she had seen in the lobby yesterday.   
The blonde one was singing, jumping up and down enthusiastically, sending his hair flopping up and down, the spikes waving madly. Esther turned up the sound. . .   
(To the tune of "Pretty Fly" by Offspring.) As he screamed into the microphone, Rinoa sighed in envy. "You know it's pretty hard, To get my hair to stay, My fans think it's cool, but Sephy thinks it gay! You may think it looks easy, You may think it looks fun, But getting my hair up, Is my problem number one!!!!!!! So spike it well, And supergel! If people think I look hot, then my hair products will sell. . . ." He trailed off, and the white haired one gave a snort of disgust.   
"Aren't you ever going to finish the lyrics?" he asked laconically.  
"Maybe," the blonde, presmably Cloud Strife, snapped. "Just do your part."  
"As you wish," the other sighed, then launched into song. "Strife, you're so deluded, your hair is really dumb, Looks like you got a power point and stuck it with your thumb! My hair is really silky, my hair is really nice, That's why I sell my hair mousse, for nearly twice the price!"  
With that, Cloud rejoined him for the chorus, and they sang duet, their voices melding, thrumming through the speakers. "So spike it well, And supergel!! If people think I look hot then my hair products will sell!!!!"  
They both stopped, and mopped their brows, the tried to get their disordered hair back in order. It had gotten extremely mussed during their moshing. Rinoa clapped spontaneously. The blonde looked up, smiled, then winked playfully. Rinoa smiled dreamily and waved. . .But then she snapped out of it and realised what she was doing. Squall had been gone for little more then a couple of hours, and she was. . .In horror, she backed up a few steps, then fled as if all the hounds of hell were on her heels. . .  
She slowed soon, and calmed herself down. It didn't mean anything, she just missed having Squall around, and naturally she turned to anyone who looked remotely friendly. Yeah, that was all. That was all.  
  
  
Author's Note: Hmmm. . .That one was a bit short, and it jumped around a bit too much. Oh well. The plot should thicken soon. Or what passes as a plot in this. The song was written by my friends while they were at camp and I couldn't go 'cause I had bloody tonsilitus. . .gr. Hoped you liked.  



	3. A guy to dye for. . .

In the Eye of the Squall

In the Eye of the Squall

Chapter 3: A guy to dye for. . .

By Sephiroth 4000.

Squall awoke with a lodgy feeling in the general area of where his brain used to be.Two days.Two whole miserable days where he had been deprived of the ambrosia of the gods. . .He couldn't take it anymore!!!!!Something had to break!!!!!!

In his delerium, he had scarcely noticed that he had begun to glow a bright heady red, that meant that even without his gunblade ready at hand he was about to launch into Renzokuken. . .

"What do you mean you couldn't find any dye!!!!!And why did you want any, anyway!!!!!????"

Tidus winced.Having an angry Yuna screech into his ear first thing in the morning was definitely not one of his favourite pastimes.And yet, she was the only one he knew well enough to go to in his times of need. . .He really wished all his Blitzball buddies were here at the moment.

"Well," he hazarded, "I thought if I dyed my hair brown, I might possibly pass as Squall long enough to get close to all his little friends, and swipe all their GF's."

Yuna's brow furrowed in thought for a moment, seeking in vain for a flaw in his perfect plan.Abruptly she raised her head, and smiled brilliantly at him."Excellent idea, my dear Tidus.Now let's see about this dye. . ."

Tidus sighed.They had been looking for hours, since Yuna had insisted on taking him through all the Balamb shops, which he had already visited.Honestly, it was if she thought he was a moron, or something.So now, they were dispondently wandering the clean sunny streets of Balamb, searching for another shop, while everybody else went on their way, wrapped up in their own happy little lives.It was enough to make him grind his teeth.

Yuna grabbed his arm."Hey look over there," she whispered.

"What?Huh?" he couldn't see anyone except a street performer who had coated her hair with hot melted chocolate, and was using it to paint on a large sheet of foil. . .

"Look.At the girl who's painting!Her hair's gone brown. . ."

It took one moment for that to penetrate through his bewildered thoughts.Then, as it managed to get through, his jaw hit the ground, and he turned to her with panicked wide eyes."Oh no. . .You can't mean me to. . .You can't!It's not. . .My hair. . ."

In response to his babbled protests, she simply smiled evilly."I think milk chocolate ought to be the right shade for Squall's hair, right?" 

"Re-Renzokuken!!!!!!!"Squall exploded into action, overturning his bed, smashing the table, throwing the chair against the window which shattered in protest.With a single incredible leap, he went through the window, twisting to avoid snagging the rich Galbadian leather of his coat and jacket.The other patients in rehab shrieked in shock, and one ran for a big red button that stood out prominently by the door. . .

Rinoa really and truly tried to concentrate on what Agent Doggin was saying, but for some reason what ever the guy said washed straight over her head.He was just so. . .stupid.A typical stupid Galbadian guy.

"Let's go!" he chirped."I scheduled us for the concert hall to see how you sound in there.It'll be a lot different from then in the studio.And your dancing lessons begin tomorrow, right?"

"Yes," she sighed.She couldn't help it, but she felt like something terrible was happening to Squall at this very moment. . .Maybe she would visit him later today. . .

A bunch of white clad beefy men erupted from the doorway.Squall turned, snarling, but knew that he was hopelessly overmatched without a weapon, and broke for the bushes.The medics followed, spreading out, and before long he was caught.He flailed around in their grip, but was helpless to free himself.Oh, if only he hadn't given his gunblade to the coat girl!!!He had known something was up when she hadn't taked his coat.He could have smuggled in Lino Heart as a mop; that was one thing that it could do, and Lion Heart hadn't been able to. 

One medic prepared a huge needle to his horror, and smiled reassuringly."It's all right Mr. Leonhart.Everything's going to be just fine. . ."

A sting of pain in his left arm, and a moment of aghast shock.They had poked a hole in his leather jacket!!???Then, blissfully nothing.

Tidus stared in acute distaste and misery at the mess of melted, boiling hot chocolate in front of him.They had literally filled a tub of the gooey stuff."Yuna. . ." he whined."Do I really have to do this?"

She simply smiled, her expression positively angelic."It was your idea."

With a sigh of deepest regret, and with an apology to his poor belagred hair, Tidus bent over and dipped his hair in.Gross!It was way too hot, his scalp hurt, and now all that time he had spent combing in the conditioner that annoying shop girl had sold him was wasted.Absolutely wasted.And he had thought the ocean water on Spira had been bad for his hair. . .Well, that was nothing to this.His hair was matted, and he didn't know if he'd ever be able to get this stuff out. . .What if he had to shave his head?He'd look like he was prematurely bald!With a cry of dismay, he slowly bought his head up, and let the excess chocolate drip back into the basin.He hoped none of the sticky brown stuff had gotten on his clothes. 

"Perfect!" Yuna squealed."Absolutely perfect, Tidus!I am a genius!"

He regarded her with long suffering blue eyes.

Hours later, the chocolate having rendered his lovely sun kissed blonde hair a blah shade of brown that nearly matched Squall's colour of hair, Tidus strode purposefully to the elevator, anxious to reach to the Second Floor Classroom, where Selphie Tilmitt and Irvine Kinneas apparently spent most of their time.Playing on the computer.What nerds.

He tapped his foot absently, humming "Suteki Da Ne" under his breath, despite the odd looks the blonde girl who shared the elevator gave him.She looked eerily like Ryukku, except that she was wearing glasses and a SeeD uniform.Wait a minute. . .

This was Quistis Trepe!She would have Guardian Forces as well!

And at that precise moment, she turned to look at him curiously, and said with an odd gleam of speculation in her eyes, "Squall?Weren't you supposed to be at the Rehab Centre?" 

Uh oh.It looked he was in deep trouble.

Rinoa frowned."What do you mean, I can't see him?"

"I'm sorry Miss.Your boyfriend is at a. . .difficult stage right now.I'm afraid we just can't let you see him."The grey clad woman smiled insipidly."But I'm sure he'll be just fine soon.We're making excellent progress."

Rinoa glared furiously at the woman.This was wrong.This woman was an absolute twit, and she wanted to see her Squally right now!With that, she turned on her heel sharply, and shoved past the two burly guards much to their surprise.One laid a hesitant arm on her shoulder, but without a second thought, she blasted all within the area with Shooting Star.It returned obediantly to her the part on her wrist, called back by magnetics.She smiled grimly, and continued on.

Many tried to stop her, but she exercised her weapon and Sorceress power with impunity.Who _dared_ to challenge the greatest Sorceress since the Great Hyne?They were all fools!And Squall. . .oh, she was coming Squall!

Doors opened, people flooded out, and all fell upon her.She went faster and faster, the coridoors blurring past, until she came to the wide room where she knew he was.A single slash of the Shooting Star knocked out the medics, and simultaneously freed her Squall from where he was tied up.

"Rinoa!" he cried, and flung himself toward her, his eyes wide in terror, face pale, his arms outstretched to her.

"Squall!" she yelled, turning to face him, arms wide to catch him, eager to hold his own dear self.

Later Rinoa reflected that it would have all been so sweet and touching, and later they could have laughed that it had been like a reversal of what had happened at the Sorceress Memorial.However. . .due to a terrible miscalculation on both their parts, they fell to the floor, knocking their heads, leaving both equally dazed.

The medics were on them in a heartbeat, dragging Squall away further into the complex, roughly grabbing Rinoa, and finally tossing her out into the street firmly on her butt.

Tidus could _feel _the blood draining from his face.His cover was blown already, he hadn't had a chance to draw any GF's, and Yuna would fling this as a sign of incompetence into his face again and again.

Quistis advanced, hands on hips."You sneaked out didn't you!?And that Centre was supposed to be the finest one in Balamb!Well, I don't think much of their security!"She bent forward, and he hung his head.She took a deep breath, to calm herself, but then suddenly the smell wafting from his hair registered."You've been eating chocolate!!!!Squall, how could you!!!!After you _said_!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

He winced at her wails, and stammered a vague disclaimer, still hoping he had a remote chance of escaping her.No such luck.She took him by the ear, sent the elevator back to the first floor, and hauled him off to her car.

Yuna was going to be furious.

Rinoa sighed, and rubbed her aching behind sourly.There as nothing to do.She would go and rally the Garden, and those super-tough SeeDs.But come to think of it, those big strong SeeDs hadn't been able to defeat mere Galbadian soldiers, which she had done with ease.Never mind.She'd ask Quistis and Zell to help her.And maybe even Selphie and Irvine, though they were so wrapped up in each other she wondered if they noticed anything that happened anymore.Oh well.

Brushing off a few stray pieces of gravel from her lovely blue coat (she had just washed it yesterday too!) she strode determindly to her car.She _would _save her darling Squall.No matter what.

Quistis ranted on and on, while Tidus clung deperately to the dashboard, wishing that he had never even considered dying his hair.She drove like a madman. . .or madwoman, dodging from lane to lane, screeching her brakes, amidst a sea of honking horns.He hated to see what would have happened if she got her hands on the Ragnarok.

"And you gotta stay this time!Stay!Promise me!"  
"I promise," he agreed tiredly, halfheartedly crossing his fingers behind his back.

"Well here we are!And you better keep your promise!"

Within a trice, she had him bustled into the rehab centre, and entered into a room (more like a cell) wondering how he had managed to land himself in this whole entire mess.

Author's Note: Hope you liked, this one was a little harder to write.Chapter 4 should be a lot easier, I already have some evil things planned for poor old Tidus and Squall.No, I don't know if you can dye your hair with chocolate.Probably not. But still. . .Heh heh.Poor Tidus. 


	4. Beware of the Squall. . .

In the Eye of the Squall:

In the Eye of the Squall:

Chapter 4:Beware of the Squall. . .

By Sephiroth_4000.

Tidus sat slumped disconsolately, in a corner of his poor pathetic little room.Even the walls were padded.This was pathetic.

A guard stomped by, lighter footsteps following."1223,1225, 1227. . .ah, Mr Leonhart's room.Very good, miss."

"Thank you," a familiar voice said, even as the steel shot door swung open, accompanied with the heavy clatter of keys.

"Yuna!" he gasped.She glared at him from behind the guards' back, a raised a finger to her lips.The guard bowed, then left, locking the door behind them, and taking up station at the door.

"Oh, I knew you wouldn't desert me!" he sobbed in incoherent relief.He would be free of this awful place, with it's twice a day meals that never had any broccoli, and always brussel sprouts.He would be free!!!!Free as a bird!

"Don't be so sure." Her curt reply stopped his cries, and loosened the grip he had on her ankles.He looked up, his face full of woe.

"I found out something interesting though," he babbled."Leonhart's being kept in here though!Apparently they haven't found out that they're keeping two Squall Leonhart's yet. . ."

She tapped her lips thoughtfully with two slender fingers."Hmm. . ."She smiled, a blessedly familiar smile, the one with the slightly evil glint in her eye."Tidus. . .I think you've done an excellent job in getting yourself here.Very well done."

He let her patronization wash right over his head.Now was not the time to be offended.He kept his eyes down, and his posture subservient enough to satisfy her.She smiled more fully, like a cat with its whiskers, no it's whole face covered with cream.Ugh.He swallowed down his distaste."I have a plan. . ."

Rinoa sighed disconsolately, and slumped down, pillowing her head on her arms.It was late, and she didn't want to go back to Garden.Quistis and Zell had been nowhere, and she didn't want anyone to see her.Her, the one who had convinced Squall to go to that horrible rehab centre.And now, SeeD might never get their commander back.Whatever was she to do?

Her musing was shattered by the slamming of doors from below, and the sound of voices (some more raucous then others) uplifted in song.Drunken song.She let her lip curl in distaste.Who had let drunkards in here?She jumped to her feet, smoothed down her clothes, tossed her hair back, and squared her shoulders, preparing to give whoever it was a good telling off.She strode out, giving the door a mighty heave, (it crashed into the wall with a satisfactory crash) and her words died on her lips. 

Down below, a slightly intoxicated Cloud and Sephiroth were gesturing helplessly to their manager, at the crowd of people that had invaded the CCIM. Inc lobby.The sources of the song seemed to be two men who had slung their arms over a third's shoulder.Despite the third's burden of the pair's weight, he hardly staggered, as they lurched with drunken grace, sometimes in opposite directions.

"One Jenova, two Jenova, three Jenova four!"A dark haired, bulkily muscled man warbled, to a tune Rinoa remembered vaguely from her bygone childhood.Something called one potato, two potato. . .or something like that. . .

"Sephy dematerialises leaving me some more!" A blond man sang back, his flight goggles perched precariously on his head, slipping down to skew awkwardly over one eye.

"Five Jenova, six Jenova, seven Jenova eight!"

"GOTTA CATCH ALL THEM JENOVAS BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!"

"Dum, dum, dum, dum. . ."They both blinked blearily, as the third man quietly joined in, his red bandanna slipping off onto the floor, ebony locks tumbling forward to conceal his pale face.

The blond one grinned, and kept going."Nine Jenova, ten Jenova, then some more of those. . ."

"Throw it's head at Scarlet so it bites her on the nose!" The dark man burst into uproarious giggles.

"Jenova Life, Jenova Death, Jenova side of fries!" the blond man bellowed.

"JENOVA'S DAMN ANNOYING AND JENOVA NEVER DIES!!!!!"they both joined in enthusiastically, though very unmusically.

Sephiroth looked over one shoulder in irritation."Don't say that about my mother!" he yelled. 

At that the trio lost their precarious balance, and collapsed in a heap, laughing, almost on the other group of drunken men.A bald headed man flicked his sunglasses up for a moment, and shook his head.The red-headed man beside him grinned wolfishly for a moment, carefully put one foot in front of another, got them tangled, and fell down in heap as well, pulling his bald friend down with him.

"Mommy's boy!$&^%&#. . ." the blond shouted something else as well, but it was thankfully lost in the general laughter.

Rinoa shook her head weakly, and wearily leant her head on her cold bloodless hands.This was the last thing she needed.A couple of drunken guys, who happened to be friends, or acquaintances at least, of those two really cute guys from the other band. . .If only Squall was here!If only she hadn't failed him. . .Oh, Squall. . .Would she ever see him again?

Squall huddled miserably in his cell, steering clear of the horrible sunlight.Oh. . .when would he ever see his beloved chocolate ever again?It would be enough just to see it, the precious sight of it. . .he dimly remembered Rinoa bursting in to save him, but it was only a distant memory, as if it had happened a very long time ago.When you thought about it, the streaks in Rinoa's hair were kind of chocolate coloured. . .

A key rattled in the door, and a quiet curse followed.Squall looked up, his nostrils flaring, a mad gleam in his eyes.Was it. . .could it possibly be. . .A smell, gone for so long. . .

The door swung open, and the smell wafted over enticingly."Chocolate!" he screamed joyously, and leapt forward to the source. . .

Tidus frowned in concentration, jiggling the key, cursing.Oh, hopefully the people at this place were as cheap as he thought, and had got keys and locks that could open all of them, or were close enough, or old enough. . .please. . .

He grinned in triumph, as the lock gave a quiet _snick-click _and the swung open under his hand.He entered in quietly, cautiously, slinking in like some giant jungle cat. . .

And only just managed to stop himself from screaming hysterically, as the _cool, calm _and _collected_ Commander of SeeD leapt forward, and started to gnaw at his head.They wrestled desperately, Squall _needing _his daily intake of chocolate, and Tidus also needing his hair.Why, oh why was this happening to him?NO!He would not let this frothing maniac get to his beautiful hair!In a fit of desperate strength, he managed to wrestle Squall down, and gave him a hard blow to the head with the arm length metal gauntlet he always wore.Since it was an alloy, it weighed next to nothing, and he had always _known _it would come in handy one day.Despite Yuna's snide comments.

"Yuna!" he hissed." I got him!"

Yuna came, with a quick clack, clack, of her shoes."Good.I'll get him to the car.You stay here like a good little boy. . .Mr Leonhart."

The door locked close behind her, and as she dragged Leonhart's limp body away, Tidus smiled contentedly.Mr Leonhart indeed. It sounded very good.Like music to his ears. . .

Rinoa clapped her hands over her ears.They would not stop.Sephiroth and Cloud were still arguing with their manager about a song needing a girl named Aeris, and the trio down below were bawling for the fiftieth time that dreaded Jenova song.Ugh.She was going to go insane, particularly because their choir had swelled.They had been joined by the bald guy, the red-head, a brunette with a dot on his forehead, and a guy with odd orangy-blond hair.

She was going to scream in a moment.She was.Going.To.Scream. 

The sliding doors slid open, admitting a petite brunette, who stopped for a moment, gaped, then spotted Rinoa with her hands clapped over her ears.Her hair seemed much less bouncy then usual, and her stride had lost it's usual skip.

"Selphie?" Rinoa yelled over the drunken singers, who seemed to think their song was hilarious, and burst into laughter each time they completed it.Anytime soon, her Limit Break was going to come. . .By the Great Hyne, let it come soon, please. . .

"Rinoa?" the girl said tearfully. "I. . .I need to talk to Squall. . ."

Rinoa sagged, and turned away."You can't get to Squall, Selphie.He's at Rehab remember?"

"Oh yeah." Selphie's face was crestfallen."Gee, that's real bad luck. Super-duper-mega-"

"What's wrong?" Rinoa asked, cutting off any other adjective before the inevitable bummer.

Selphie sniffed dolefully."I broke up with Irvine. . ."

"WHAT!?" Rinoa exclaimed.They had always seemed so besotted with each, perhaps, shamefully, even more so then she and Squall.After all, Irvine and Selphie had kissed on the night of that horrible concert at Fisherman's Horizan, whereas she and Squall had only kissed after beating up Ultimecia.And after checking up to see if Balamb was okay.And after flying to Winhill to see his mother's grave.And after all those boring speeches at that party they had had.Not much of a celebration for saving the world, really.The SeeD Ball had been much grander.And only after all of that, had she and he kissed.And it had taken for her to almost be sealed away from him forever to get him to even hug her properly.Geez.

Preoccupied with her own miseries, Rinoa had neglected to listen to Selphie. ". . .and then, I caught him letting one of those stupid Garden cadet bimbos wearing his hat!I just couldn't stay with him after that. . .Rinoa, are you listening?"

"Hmm?Oh, yes, of course I'm listening!He let them wear _your _hat!?"

"Yeeeaaah!!!!!He's _such_ a meanie. . ."

Rinoa frowned, but nodded her head sympathetically.Wasn't meanie _her _word?

_Author's Note: Hee hee. . .It's moving on now.I got momentarily stuck, but this one is fairly easy to get unstuck, unlike my other fanfic. . .grr. . .stupid Maphiko: Jenova's Legacy. . .Hmmph. .. Anyway, I won't bore you anymore.Where has Yuna taken Squall?What will Tidus do to get out of Rehab? Will Rinoa be able to get him out?What is the new song Sephiroth and Cloud want to sing?All this and more! (Well, maybe not.)Chapter 5 is coming. . .Stay tuned. . .Hee.Wait, wait there's MORE now!!!!My friend Xiao Leonhart got very ticked off with me for using HER Jenova Song, which she had already used in Final Fantasy Not-So-Mystic-Quest, said I hadn't given credit (which I hadn't *hangs head bashfully*).Well, I'm SORRY.The Jenova song was hers, hers and hers.Mwahahahaha.And she did not rip it off from me.She thought it up.And I didn't even think about it when I was writing.I was sort of stuck. . .so yeah.Are you happy now Xiao?^_^_


	5. Squalls' Smile

In the Eye of the Squall

In the Eye of the Squall

Chapter 5: Squalls' Smile.

By Sephiroth 4000.

"Yes sir." Tidus kept his arms stiffly by his sides, almost standing at attention, as Leonhart tended to do in formal occasions.His intense studying of the man had paid off.

"Very impressive," the supervisor murmured.This man was the last hurdle Tidus needed to overcome.Then he could waltz out of this abominable place, and take life up as 

Squall Leonhart forever, and ever and ever.He realised he was starting to grin asininely, and quickly smoothed out his expression to one of proper blandness.

"Let's see, Mr. Leonhart.How can you really prove that you're cured of your chocolate addiction?" The man gestured with a lit cigar, Tidus noticed.And he was the head of a rehabilation centre.Brilliant.

"It's all in my files sir." He said gravely to the despicable little man.Grr, if only he had his waterblade here, or that superior Lionhart!He'd mop up that smug little man in ten seconds."The counselors all had me rigorously tested."

"Hmm, hmm," The man mumbled, and swung up his feet to rest them on the desk.Tidus idly noted that they were in need of a good clean.Of course Squalls' precious boots were never in need of polishing.The almighty Commander of SeeD took a break from his duties every Saturday night to polish them so lovingly that one could see one's reflection in them.Soldiers.He wondered if Squall polished his pants or jacket.All that leather, and it never cracked, and always seemed supple and clean. . .maybe bee's wax. . .

"What!?You managed to sit still and not eat a piece of rich Dollet chocolate!?And it was in front of you for at least ten hours!!??"The man was going to have an apoplexy.Tidus regarded his pink shiny sweating brow with some distaste.For some reason, having his head dipped in chocolate, and then have Leonhart attempt to gnaw his hair off had made him go off the confectionary.

"Hyne's Tastebuds, are you crazy boy?Refusing Dollet chocolate???Do you know how expensive that stuff is???And the taste!!!"

Tidus yawned politely."I believe that Counselor Biggs took off with it.He told me that it was the least I owed him, from last time we were in Dollet, and Galbadia."He frowned momentarily."Don't know why he was so hostile.I've never met him before in my life."

But it was clear that the supervisor was not listening.In fact he had flung Tidus' report behind him in a cascade of paper, and yelled, "You're free to go, my boy!I have something to discuss with Counselor Biggs!"

Tidus snickered, at the sight of the fat supervisor waddling furiously down the hall.Obviously, Squall Leonhart wasn't the only one around with an addiction to chocolate.He grinned. And felt gloriously free, as he realised he could go from this hellhole.

He might see Yuna.Or better still, he might see Rinoa Heartilly, Squall Leonhart's very pretty girlfriend.

Da. . . . ark. . . . .No. . .light. . . . . .Ow. . . . .

Squall woke painfully, realising he was lying on something very cold, hard and lumpy.It felt like a mosaic floor, one of the more uncomfortable things to sleep on.But more comfortable then a railway line.He had tried that on the way to Esthar, while he had carried that lazy Rinoa, who had pretended to be posessed just so she could catch up on her 'beauty sleep.'Bah.Or that was what Selphie had said Rinoa had told her.

And right now it was so dark he wasn't completely sure that he had really opened his eyes.For good measure he closed his eyes again, and then opened them again.It was as dark in here as the inside as a sock.Well, that was a really bad description since a sock would let in light through the material and all. . .it was dark as. . .his shoe polish.Yes.That was a good description.

"Squall."

"AHHH!!!!!" he yelled in good measure."GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!!"

"Squaall."

It was a very dry dusty voice, rusty as though it had never been used before. Behind that, it seemed to be very light in timbre, and oddly familiar. . .

"Squaaaaaaall."

He quivered in fear, and huddled up in his leathers, clutching his jacket around himself.It served in place of a security blanket, or a good solid piece of chocolate for the moment.

"Murderer.Do you know who I am?"

"N-n-n-no."

"I'll tell you who I am."

"Puh-lease don't kill me!!!I'll do anything you want!!!!"

"I want vengence!!!!"

And from the dark, came something truly terrifying.

"He such a meanie!!!A super-duper-mega-one!!!!"Selphie snivelled into her tissue, and Rinoa wearily rested her head on her knees, idly playing with the two rings threaded onto her necklace.Any more of this and she was going to go batty.Or maybe she already was.She had managed to escape the drunken singers from the CCIM building, get a good night, or days sleep, and then have the misfortune to run into Selphie at the cafeteria.Oooh, she had to rescue her Squall soon!

A hand rested itself on her shoulder.

"Squall!?" she exclaimed, jumping to her feet, and spinning to face him."Is that really you!?"

He grinned, as he nodded.Squall Leonhart actually grinned, his eyes crinkling at the corners in good humour.

Rinoa fainted in shock.

A horror, one born from countless dreams of guilt.

It was a duck.

Squall screamed in despair and fainted dead away.

Rinoa woke dazedly, feeling something soft and . . .well. . .good underneath her.A bed.

"Rin?You okay?I carried you to the sick bay.Kadowaki said it was just nerves."

_He. . . .used a nick name?Squall. . .grinned. . .then gave me a nickname. . . ?Has he really gone crazy. . . ?_

She peered through her lashes at him.He actually wore an expression of complete concern on his face.Apart from that, he was his usual handsome self, except for the bizarre clothes he was wearing.And his hair looked a little more lank then usual.Must not have had conditioner at the Rehab. Centre.Back to the clothes.

He had no shirt at all, and his chest was quite tanned.Rinoa didn't mind that bit.But, over a short blue and yellow jacket, he wore dennim overalls, one leg longer then the other, and a rather cool logo emblazoned on it.A long red gauntlet covered his left arm up to the elbow.

And he was wearing no leather at all.

She started up with a small scream."Who are you?" she said wildly."You're not Squall!You're not wearing any leather!!Why???You look like Squall, but you're not!!!Squall without leather's like. . .like. . .Selphie without her horrible haircut!Like. . ."

She floundered to a stop, while he backed a step away, hands up.A typical Squall look of bland stoicness covered his features, and curiously, Rinoa felt better about him."They took away my leather at Rehab.Good thing I have more copies of that outfit in the dorm.I'd hate to have to wear my SeeD uniform."

He was talking too much.She backed up to the head of the bed, and looked at him with wide terrified eyes.He shook his head."Look Rinoa, I have to go.I was just waiting for you to wake up.I'll see you later, and you can talk about what's bugging you."

He left, and Rinoa began to shake.What had those horrible people at that centre done to her Squall?

He couldn't tell how long this nightmare had lasted.The duck just stood there, poised in its' ray of light, while he huddled terrified in the darkness.It seemed to be waiting for something. . .absently preening its' fluffy white plumage. . .plumage like the feathers that formed the collar of his precious jacket. . .

And then it moved.Forward, closer to him, a look of real menace in its' dark beady eyes."Squaaall. . ." It hissed. 

"Y-y-yes. . ."

"Squaaaaall. . .Do you know how many ducks died so that you could have twenty copies of that jacket?"

"N-n-n-n-n-no. . . "

"Twenty.And I am the duck that died so you could have _that_ foul garment you are presently wearing."It's eyes were wide with anger and disgust and it gave a loud quack of fury.

"I'm s-s-sorry. . ."

"Sorry won't fix everything, Duck Killer!!!!You must pay!!!!!!!QUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Squall quivered in his shiny boots, backing away in shameful fear and guilt.He hung his head in shame.And vaguely, in the absolute silence, he could hear a low voice.No, _two_ low voices.

"Quahahahaha?Isn't that a little. . .well understated?Come on, why don't you go for the whole thing!Just say, "Quackhackhackhack!" and be done with it!"

And even quieter was the hissed, "Shut _up_, Tidus."

Squall squalled."Stop it!!Shut up!!!!!I do NOT have voices in my head, like the counselors said!!!!!That was a just a side effect from Ellone sending me bsack to the past!!!!!That's all!!!!!There is _nothing _wrong with me!!!!!!!"

A dead silence met his words.The duck thankfully faded away in confusion, and everything was swallowed up into blessed darkness.

Squall whimpered, and wished for the oblivion of sleep.

Something was very wrong.Rinoa adjusted her super big sunglasses so they didn't pinch her nose as much, and turned the collar of her trenchcoat up a little higher so it concealed her face.Of course she had to turn it down again almost at once because it cut off her peripheral vision.Both items had been borrowed from Agent Doggin, who had been only too delighted to oblige.

She had of course been, well not spying on Squall.That was an awful word.She had been. . .observing him.That was right.Observing.And his behaviour had been bizarre to say the least.He had answered at least eleven of the people that had greeted him, and with relative good cheer, and had actually _shaken _someone's hand when introduced.True he was back in his leather, but he had doffed his gloves and kept that weird gauntlet thing, and was wearing it under his jacket.And he had replaced his beloved boots; boots he had spent weekends laboriously polishing with a toothbrush, with some bright yellow sneaker type shoes.And he had smiled several times; Rinoa had lost count.

In short, the melancholy, brooding young man she had fallen in love with was behaving. . .normal.

Something was definitely wrong.

_Author's Note: Heheheheheh.Yes I know the duck bit is shamefully childish.In fact this whole fanfic is painfully immature, but hey, I _am_ immature occasionally.Sometimes.Alright almost all of the time. Anyway, thanks for reading and all the kind reviews!_


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